Week 3 - Post 4: Reading - BTFI

The idea of BTFI in chapter 8 made me grin from ear to ear when I read it. I really think those moments are some of the most important that we can have. Sometimes they're about letting go of control, sometimes they're about letting go of fear, sometimes they're about letting go of caring what others think, but they're also about freeing yourself up from whatever is holding you back and just letting things happen.

I love a good BTFI moment. Sometimes they're small. Today, for instance, I was working on a crochet project and at some point I realized I was off on my row count, but I wasn't sure by how much. To fix it I would have had to start from scratch, which is always frustrating. I could have been stressed out by the discovery, but then I took a look at what I had done, decided it looked great, acknowledged that the project really didn't require precision, and gave myself permission to internally say "f*^k it", and just finished the project in a way that perhaps wasn't an exact copy of the directions, but still looked fabulous. Stressing out and redoing my work would have probably killed the fun I was having... letting go and being okay with what I had done kept the project fun and didn't make my end product any less nice.

Sometime, though, those moments are much bigger. For years I wanted to own a Vespa scooter. Unfortunately in order to drive a motor scooter where I live you have to have a motorcycle license. Since I didn't own a scooter I knew I was going to have to take a driving course where they supplied the vehicle in order to pass the first of the two driving tests needed to get a full motorcycle license... but none of the driving courses used scooters; they ALL used standard motorcycles. Plus, they weren't cheap either.

For years fear of driving a motorcycle that I'd have to manually shift gears on (or rather, completely failing at driving a motorcycle that I'd have to manually shift gears on) and fear of spending a lot of money on a driving course I could fail miserably at kept me from my goal of being able to drive a scooter. This summer though, after chatting with a student who also was longing for a motorcycle license, I finally got to a point where I just thought "f*%k it, I'm going to get that license already". Later that week I took the written test, passed it, and found a two-day motorcycle course to sign up for.

When I got to my course I was the only person there who didn't drive standard and one of the few who hadn't been on a motorcycle before. The motorcycles? They scared me senseless. I also SUCKED beyond belief for at least half of the first day. Really, I was just awful and clearly the worst person in the class. But I tried not to let it affect me and sometime after lunch I managed to get the hang of it. I was never the best person in the class, but letting go of worrying about being so far behind everyone else and just trying to learn what I could helped me to progress well beyond what I had initially thought I was capable of.

In two days I went from not being able to get a motorcycle started to being able to zip about, take obstacle courses, cleanly shift gears, and, most importantly, pass my first driving test. I also, thanks to a kind classmate who shared my interest in scooters, was able to borrow a Vespa and drive around the parking lot on my second day of class. And yes, it was bliss.

I don't have a Vespa yet (I'm still saving up for a used one), but by getting to a BTFI moment I'm way closer to my scooter dream than I was this time last year.